Net Gain of Three

Last Thanksgiving was a banner year. For a number of years, we have hosted some family for the traditional feast. But last year was a big one. Schedules were rearranged that allowed both my wife’s sister’s family and most of her brother’s family to join us. At the end of the day, seventeen folks had been fed, joined in great conversation, and watched a little football. We even got everyone up to the (then) new Jacob’s Dream sculpture on campus.

One of the surprises last year was in the dog category. We have a little mix breed — 12 years old at the time. Our son brought his lab-beagle mix. Our other son brought the miniature poodle. My brother-in-law brought a dachshund and his sister matched with another of the same breed. And our niece added a pit-bull puppy.

Now, you need to understand that Nancy and I aren’t big “dog-in-the-house” people. Our little Snoopy makes it in daily for a few hours of napping in her bed. And occasionally she stays in the utility room on cold nights. And Ben, the miniature poodle, is another exception. He often comes with our granddaughter for play days. He doesn’t fair well outside. Fundamentally, he doesn’t understand the concept of being a dog. So Nancy and I have adjusted.

But last Thanksgiving was a new experience. Lots of people and, whenever the back door opened, lots of dogs were all over the house. Snoopy, the grand dame of the group, stayed in the utility room — away from the pitter-patter of big and little feet.

All in all, we did pretty well until “the incident.” As dogs will do, one of our canine guests left a gift in the dining room. Upon its discovery and the sudden spurt of cleaning action that followed by Nancy and my brother-in-law, dog owners quickly emptied the house and stood in the back yard, talking in low tones and wondering how much trouble they were in.

Well, we got past “the incident” with no lasting carpet stain and no animal sacrifice.

Later in the weekend, I told Nancy she should just explain that next year, the invitation to Thanksgiving didn’t extend to animals. Yet, Nancy didn’t want anything to be a barrier to family attendance on a special day. She said nothing.

Yesterday morning, as guests began to arrive, my hopes fell. The pit bull didn’t come this year, but we added another dachshund and a lab. And to be truthful, there really weren’t any options. All of these good people were traveling over an extended schedule. And, let’s face it, dogs need to be cared for.

On the people side, we lost one non-family guest, but we added my niece, her husband, and her baby boy.

One dog up from last year. Two people. A net gain of three.

What a wonderful day! Our 10% chance of snow “sometime on Friday after Thanksgiving” began to fall about noon on Thanksgiving. By 4 p.m. and the goodbyes to most of the family, several inches of the white stuff clung to branches and grass and the street was slushy.

Dogs were more closely monitored — no incident. Baby was doted over and loved. Family bonded as they told stories and laughed. And I had several precious minutes with my 6 year old Landrye in my arms.

And, after all were gone and additional clean-up accomplished, Nancy and I sat down with our Austin kids, Justin and Alex, ate leftovers, talked and watched videos.

All in all, the day can be judged in a net gain of three. However, the true value for me can’t be measured.

Traditional Thanksgiving Blog

For many years, I would make a list just a few days before Thanksgiving. It was my call list — five people who I was especially thankful for. A few rules. No one could be on the list more than once every five years. No immediate family. (Theoretically I tell these people nice things on at least a semi-annual basis.)

On Thanksgiving morning, I would make the calls. I thought for a while they were really touched. Then I realized that they were just trying to figure out why anyone in their right mind would be interrupting someone else’s Thanksgiving.

So, the calls stopped.

I still make the list. I can’t help it.

I have so many people to be thankful for. If I live to be 80, I’ll have 135 more opportunities. Of course, some will be repeats — with the 5 year rule and all.

But think about what would happen if I could truly convey to 135 people their true value to me. I would be blessed.

The Will to Win

I’ve been reading the comments on my preacher’s blog for about the last 15 minutes. The topic is war and whether war is a business that followers of Christ should be about. Or something like that.

When I waded into the various postings of those who felt they had something to say, I saw what I always see when people draw together for hand-to-hand combat. Fear. Anxiety. A desire to control those closest to us. A real need to overpower others.

Not all of the comments were like that. But as the list unfolded through scroll-down after scroll-down of questions, replies, and retorts, the ugly nature of human interaction emerged.

A few of the commentators were avowed pacifists. Some others hinted at their law-and-order tack.

Ironic, isn’t it that — at least for purposes of the blog discussion — people on both sides of the question were unabashedly aggressive and mean-spirited?

I applaud those who talk for the sake of conversation — both in blogs and in real life. I celebrate those who can express themselves well. And by well, I mean those who can make a point or a counterpoint without attacking the person on the other side of the table. A free exchange of ideas.

I have a growing intolerance of those on both sides of any issue who believe that being cynical and destructive in a blog discussion or a television interview or around a coffee table is any less disgusting than the “real world violence” they decry or justify.

Conversation must continue. But, the will to win must cease being our motivation for having the conversation.

Let’s talk. I have a will to understand what you think and what you feel. For I’m afraid if I have the will to win, I will never hear you.

I See Alive People

Okay, so it’s a poor take-off on the more famous, “I see dead people” line. But I’m sitting here, drinking coffee at the local coffee shop located across from the burrito shop inside the large chain grocery store.

And I’m seeing living, breathing people.

Sounds stupid, right? You see these people everyday.

But for some reason, today I’m really seeing them. I’m remembering parts of their life stories. I’m asking questions and finding how really interested I am in them. It makes me recall a line I heard when we were interviewing a man to be our community minister.

He stood nervously in front of us. His short sleeve shirt didn’t hide the mostly completed tattoo of a women’s face on his forearm. This had been a dinner occasion. But he hadn’t eaten.

Joe started his story. He told of his birth and birthright as a heir to the Mexican Mafia. He talked about money and drugs . . . and prison. But as his life unfolded in front of us, his momentum grew. The words came more forcefully. He was energized by the fact that God had found him while in prison.

And Jesus had opened his eyes.

“I see souls,” Joe told us. “Everywhere I look I see souls.”

He sees alive people. Today, I am, too. I hope it’s not a passing quirk of nature.

Top News

When I travel, I like to watch the local news a little while just to get a feel for the local life. Most of my view of Toronto this past couple of days has been cloaked by darkness and rain.

So I’ve seen stories on hikes in train fares and a local stabbing that left one Torontonian dead. Then there was the local newswoman on location being taught to milk a goat. (The difference there is that in Abilene the newswomen would have already known how to milk a goat. Okay, I’m stretching it. Probably a cow and maybe a goat.)

What’s been unique, really, is hearing world news from a perspective other than the United States. I’ve heard very little about what the White House did today. Fishing for Buffalo stations, I’ve discovered that NBC News has determined there is global warming. That follows groundbreaking work by CNN a couple of weeks ago.

I’m being sarcastic, of course. I mean I’m pleased that the top news organizations are shedding light on this very serious problem. I’m just shaking my head at all of the “official” — and often political — statements that have been made throughout my life that everything was as it should be. No, we were told, there’s no reason to change the way that we do things. No reason to curtail our extravagant ways.

Well this post isn’t about global warming, really. No, it’s more about what occupies our attention. The Buffalo station just reported the top 5 news stories for today. The top 2 were sports stories. Two seemed to have local merit. Number five? The Hollywood writers strike. Indeed, the late night talk shows are teetering on the edge of extinction.

I get caught up in what other people tell me is important. I’m thinking perhaps I should spend some concentrated effort on discovering what the top news in my world truly is.

Scrutiny

I’m traveling with eight others from work. Toronto is brisk. I have no idea how cold it is because I haven’t taken time to figure out my centrigrade to fahrenheit calculator.

As we hustled through customs last night, six of us were waved through with little notice. But two of our number were pulled aside for additional questioning. We think that one was diverted because he was carrying some items from work that he had declared on his entry form.

The other guy was flagged because he was traveling with the first.

The rest of us met our transport service and were whisked away to our hotel. The third car and our project leader stayed behind to wait for the detainees. When we all met for dinner, everyone was in good spirits. We all understand the need for border security and the inconveniences that sometimes occur.

Yet, as I was thinking back about the occurrence, it reminds me that we are often under scrutiny not because of who we are — but because of who we’re with or who we look like.

I seem to believe my relationships depend only on who I am. That’s ironic since I know full well that the opinions of those who matter, look to who my model is and who I serve. And even if that additional scrutiny is inconvenient, it is truly a blessing.