My Own Medicine - Day Five

I love to hear someone say, “Suddenly, it all became clear to me.”

It’s not that I think it doesn’t happen that way. No, it’s just not been my experience that everything becomes clear all at once. Of course, I’m slower than most people. That may be the reason that my flashes of insight are often muted — just glimpses of a reality exposed in the flicker of a distant spark of lightning.

Earlier this week, when I sat down to put things right with a long-time friend, I started to notice the great peace and freedom that was rolling over me. Amazing how my time was freed to think about ways to move on the difficulties that had kept the two of us apart — or at least me apart.

So yesterday I was basking in this peace and freedom and it hits me — there are other areas where I don’t feel so good. And, at that moment, I began to take inventory of those things that worry me and distract me.

I thought the list would be much longer. Not really any relationship issues on this list — except for a group project I had been avoiding. Everything else involves taking some very simple steps toward freedom and peace.

I started this morning by completing some boring paperwork for my law office. Free of that and I’m moving on. Several small projects around the house await me. More freedom in the afternoon.

Larger tasks are involved as well — but all start with small steps. And each step brings freedom and peace.

Small steps. All that’s required in reconciling relationships or ending bondage to whatever plagues you are small, small steps.

Personal Freedom

Just one of those things I already know. Forgiving others frees me.

I recently realized that I had a couple of lists. The individuals on both were people I had been in conflict with in the past. The factor that allowed me to differentiate between the lists was forgiveness.

The group of people I had forgiven is a comfortable list. I’m not saying that everything is great with those folks. On most of them, I don’t know if they have forgiven me — although I know I have apologized for wrongdoings and asked for forgiveness. But I’m comfortable — both with the list and the people. I feel easy around them. Once again, I’m not positive about how they feel. I can only do what I can do.

That other one is troublesome — the unforgiven list. For whatever reason, I haven’t been able to bring myself to let go.

And I have, thus, denied myself freedom.

About time to make some New Year’s Resolutions — with names and faces attached.