Doubtless

It happens frequently — even in a small, part-time law office like mine. People come to see me with a financial problem and in the course of our discussions they ask, “I suppose I could just not pay that debt. I mean, what could they do?”

Then I take them through the litany of things “they” could do. And after we talk about loss of vehicles and tax liens and lawsuits, the typical response is, “Well, that’s not so bad.”

Usually at that point I pause, ever so slightly. And almost every time, the individual adds, “I just don’t feel right about it, though.”

That’s a wonderful moment. In that instant, you see a person regain respect for self and connect to their values. When that resurgence begins to build is the moment I explain how I feel about legal measures to reduce or eliminate debt. “The government, through our creditor and bankruptcy laws, has made protection available for those who truly need it — and frankly, that’s not many of us.”

Then I take my clients back through the things they can do. Like adjusting their lifestyles and, thus, their spending habits, and selling things they don’t need. As momentum grows, most of these people begin to see some possibilities. They see the long road ahead and accept the responsibility of digging out. As is often said, you don’t usually get into debt in a hurry — therefore, you don’t get out in a hurry either.

That’s the way that most of life’s troubles are. We move so fast sometimes that we take a few steps down a path that seems a little strange. And rather than check our bearings, we move further. Over time we become comfortable with where we are.

And then something stops us. A consequence attaches to us and things grind to a halt. This new and peculiar environment disorients us. We tell ourselves, “It’s okay to act differently here.”

But most of us know better. Despite the pull, that small voice tells us what is right for us.

You may not have strong spiritual beliefs. But I believe that the small voice is a clear channel to the one who divided right from wrong when it came into this world. The same one who gives us things we can do to get back to where we need to be. The same one who extends grace when we’ve done all that we can do.

Regardless of the struggle you face, or how far you will have to travel to make things right, small steps are available. And as a believer, I’m convinced that God views us more in the light of where we’re heading than in a snapshot of where we are at any given moment.

The Will to Win

I’ve been reading the comments on my preacher’s blog for about the last 15 minutes. The topic is war and whether war is a business that followers of Christ should be about. Or something like that.

When I waded into the various postings of those who felt they had something to say, I saw what I always see when people draw together for hand-to-hand combat. Fear. Anxiety. A desire to control those closest to us. A real need to overpower others.

Not all of the comments were like that. But as the list unfolded through scroll-down after scroll-down of questions, replies, and retorts, the ugly nature of human interaction emerged.

A few of the commentators were avowed pacifists. Some others hinted at their law-and-order tack.

Ironic, isn’t it that — at least for purposes of the blog discussion — people on both sides of the question were unabashedly aggressive and mean-spirited?

I applaud those who talk for the sake of conversation — both in blogs and in real life. I celebrate those who can express themselves well. And by well, I mean those who can make a point or a counterpoint without attacking the person on the other side of the table. A free exchange of ideas.

I have a growing intolerance of those on both sides of any issue who believe that being cynical and destructive in a blog discussion or a television interview or around a coffee table is any less disgusting than the “real world violence” they decry or justify.

Conversation must continue. But, the will to win must cease being our motivation for having the conversation.

Let’s talk. I have a will to understand what you think and what you feel. For I’m afraid if I have the will to win, I will never hear you.

Top News

When I travel, I like to watch the local news a little while just to get a feel for the local life. Most of my view of Toronto this past couple of days has been cloaked by darkness and rain.

So I’ve seen stories on hikes in train fares and a local stabbing that left one Torontonian dead. Then there was the local newswoman on location being taught to milk a goat. (The difference there is that in Abilene the newswomen would have already known how to milk a goat. Okay, I’m stretching it. Probably a cow and maybe a goat.)

What’s been unique, really, is hearing world news from a perspective other than the United States. I’ve heard very little about what the White House did today. Fishing for Buffalo stations, I’ve discovered that NBC News has determined there is global warming. That follows groundbreaking work by CNN a couple of weeks ago.

I’m being sarcastic, of course. I mean I’m pleased that the top news organizations are shedding light on this very serious problem. I’m just shaking my head at all of the “official” — and often political — statements that have been made throughout my life that everything was as it should be. No, we were told, there’s no reason to change the way that we do things. No reason to curtail our extravagant ways.

Well this post isn’t about global warming, really. No, it’s more about what occupies our attention. The Buffalo station just reported the top 5 news stories for today. The top 2 were sports stories. Two seemed to have local merit. Number five? The Hollywood writers strike. Indeed, the late night talk shows are teetering on the edge of extinction.

I get caught up in what other people tell me is important. I’m thinking perhaps I should spend some concentrated effort on discovering what the top news in my world truly is.

Convenience by Any Other Name

If you’re old enough, you’ll remember that Kleenex brand tissues became the article of choice because of its unique dispensing capability. That’s right! Kleenex was Kleenex because of an innovation that caused each individual tissue to pop-up one at a time.

We have all become complacent in our expectations of product performance. Lately, I’ve noticed that on occasion — usually twice in the life of a box of tissues — the pop-up fails. And these failures come at time-sensitive moments.

The first is at the opening of the package. A sneeze is imminent. You have just discovered the previous box empty and you’ve been digging under the sink or in the cabinet for the back-up. New box in hand, you strip off the tab and slide your fingers through the narrow opening. But instead of the edge of a single sheet, you grasp only large clumps of tissue paper. Wanting to do things right, you continue to discern that one Kleenex — the one that will lead the others to the light.

The sneeze is not so patient. And as the forces of nature bear down on your sinuses, you grab desperately and pull. Thirty-two tissues now await your bidding. And now you’re faced with a moral decision: Do I try to replace the errant Kleenexes? Or do I leave them in a sullen pile for the next user to deal with?

The second failure in each box of Kleenex is more of a random occurrence. Because of improper stacking or a separation of tissues as they were placed in the box, the pop-up sequence fails. The result is somewhat the same as what occurs at the opening of the package. (See description above.)

My true concern with all of this is not with the fact that a large corporation is plotting to frustrate my life. Or even that some of their employees may be sabotaging products knowing that it would evoke great anxiety in people like me.

No, I’m more concerned that I’m frustrated and worried over the orderly departure of tissues from a box. When all around us, the world creaks and groans with injustice and poverty and despair, my emotion is focused on structures of cardboard stuffed with soft paper. When my indignation ought to be centered on how people treat other people, my anger is aimed at things that have almost no value.

In working with people in conflict, I can see I’m not alone. Too often we concentrate on the peripheral problems when the greatest opportunity for reconciliation looms in welcome. Do me a favor, if it looks like I’m thinking about Kleenex, remind me there are more wondrous things to occupy my thoughts and actions.

Senseless

After yesterday’s post, I was drawn to think about questions of rationale about the killing of children.  With two 4-year olds dead in the past few weeks, and both within a few miles of where I live and work, my head was spinning with the injustice of life.

Then, in this morning’s obituaries, I saw Bear’s picture.  Another 4-year old.  But unlike Janie and Ella, Bear had moved from this temporal life to an eternal one from an apparently non-violent cause.  The story detailing his short, but busy, life was remarkable.  His family noticeably thanked people who had been part of his life — particularly the speech therapists who had helped him communicate with this world.

I think that’s the tragedy of the loss of life at a young age.  These small packages of God-given promise have much to tell us.  Janie and Ella didn’t have time to say much.  Bear didn’t either.  But all three have spoken volumes through the loss that their families and friends feel.

Senseless.  That’s a word we use to describe these unfathomable events.  We used the word in context of “it makes no sense.”  Yet, it is often the “senseless” that awakens our senses to what is around us.

Were the deaths of three 4-year olds in West Texas senseless?  Only if the rest of us fail to allow their loss to touch us.