Open Mind, Dark Pit

I’m studying this week.  Not my usual book readings and journaling. I’m studying in an “immersion” week.  Intensive sessions.  Homework at night. A diversity of classmates.

The subject matter is fascinating.  Theories from the sciences reinforce things we believed but never really knew.  Emerging research adds to the weight.  This particular line of thinking has been articulated in some form or fashion for half a century.  Its handlers continue to gently unfold it.  Showing too much, too soon would be too troublesome they say.

My professor is a man of God.  He has very much reconciled the concepts to his personal journey.  In fact, much about the teaching seems to lift us to a place where every one of us walks a closer walk with God.

Yet, the projections of where this takes us is frightening.  According to the theory, humans are emerging into a state of being where we will end our belief in God.  We can already point to the myriad of ways that mankind has pulled away from the Creator.  This one is akin to those.  It seems that we, as a people, will think our way past God.  Our intellect will be so great, that we will leave Him and all “other superstitions” behind.

I take solace in the fact that mere mortals have tried to muscle around God before.  And we never quite get there.  True, less people go to church than once did.  The reason we are told is that church is for the unenlightened and the less developed.  As the world touches on enlightenment and development, however, the problems and the solutions seem no less dark or attainable.

I’m uncomfortable studying such things.  But I know that God does give us everything for our good.  Often the view from the edge of the cliff is the most beautiful and revealing.  It’s danger is evident.

The greatest danger, however, is not climbing the mountains and not staring down into that dark pit.  For without the pit, we cannot grasp the wonder of the mountaintop.

I’ll continue to study and think – and perhaps gain a little of that enlightenment.  As I look down into that pit and try to penetrate that darkness, I think I’ll just slip my hand in God’s.  Just in case.

If the shoe fits . . .

Last night, a new acquaintance began telling me about his recent experience buying sandles. He walked into a store last week, found a pair that he liked, and then asked the clerk to bring him a size 10-and-a-half and a size 11. He explained that his shoe size was 11 but that his experience with sandles was that they are often a little bigger than the size professes.

The clerk returned with two pair — sizes 10 and 11. “We don’t have half-sizes,” he reported. My new friend tried on the 10 “just because it was there” and was amazed when it fit perfectly. Curious, when the clerk left to ring up his purchase, he grabbed the contraption that gauges feet and found, indeed, his foot measured a size 10.

“I have a closet full of size 11 shoes,” he told me, “and now I’ve discovered that I’ve been buying the wrong size — most of my life!”

While I found the story interesting, I didn’t have a clue of his rationale for telling it. Until he added, “I’ve learned a lot through this experience. It seems that I’m quite capable of limping through life with the assistance of things that don’t really work. Now, I’m on the lookout for things that fit me and giving things a chance that I’ve refused to even consider. The future seems much brighter now.”

Openness to doing things differently — thinking, talking, listening — does tend to brighten up the future. Try on a different size shoe today. Particularly if its well-worn by someone else. You might discover some new possibilities.

Diving for Pearls

Recent life experience is taking me places. All sorts of places. Frankly, if you had told me two months ago about the journey I was about to take, I would have canceled my ticket.

Now that I’m down the road a bit, I have a different view. I have been enriched by the things I’ve seen, the emotions I’ve felt, and the words I’ve heard. All of those good things sprout from a central source — the people I’ve met.

Two months ago, I would have avoided most of these individuals. Nothing personal. I just thought I had no need to know them and no real curiosity about who they might be, where they might live, or how much we might have in common.

Last week, sitting in a crowded room with total strangers, I begin to see how their lives threaded through mine. My eyes were opened.

Amazing things happen when we begin to see the value of someone else, regardless their circumstance.

Double Nickel

The long-awaited day has arrived. Indeed, this is the precise moment in time I have talked about and leaned toward for a couple of years.

Today I am officially a senior citizen at Peet’s Coffee. Ever since Peet’s opened in the corner of our neighborhood supermarket, I have been answering the question, “One punch or two?” And I have honestly answered, “Only one . . . for now.” The clerks behind the counter have looked warily at my greying, thinning hair and have reluctantly punched my frequent drinker’s card a single time.

You see, I knew my day would come. This is one of those life moments that counteract the generally negative thoughts about aging. In fact, for me it might be one of two. The first one was becoming a grandfather. What a great and wonderful thing! And right after it comes gaining senior status at Peet’s. (Many of you may point to my membership in AARP which was achieved 5 years ago. But I would argue that I have yet to find the pleasure in receiving magazines pointing out what can be done for those parts of me that aren’t working right and identifying those biological failures yet to come.)

I was wrong. My day did not come. A friend, Homer, broke the news to me on the day after Christmas. “Do you have any of the frequent drinker cards left?” he asked in a voice reminiscent of an eight-year old in search of a Mickey Mantle rookie card. When I looked puzzled, he explained, “They’ve discontinued the program. You can use the cards you have, but they’re not issuing any more.”

Minutes later, I looked remorsely at the card in my hand. It was full of punches. So, I thought, this is the way it will end. My last free cup of coffee — and it will be consumed while I’m still a junior citizen.

Maybe I should have saved that card until today. Perhaps Major Dickinson’s blend would have tasted that much better as a free one.

I’ve considered my options. I thought about writing a letter to the CEO of the supermarket, threatening a class action age discrimination suit. But I seem to remember something in our ethics course in law school about spurious law suits. I also thought about changing coffee shops. I even shopped around a bit. And I also considered giving up coffee.

But for today, I went to Peet’s, plunked down my money and got my coffee. I think I’ve grown accustomed to things anticipated not being quite what I imagined. Call it what you will — acceptance — contentment — acquiescence — resignation. It’s life.

And the real eye-opener (and caffeine-free) is knowing that most of the happenings in my life — the things that surprise or unfold without my design or effort, are so much better and delightful than what I could have asked for. God has a way of doing that.

So, at this milestone, I set aside my pride in attaining this now-expired status and I quote the imminent philosopher, Yoda, “Blessed, I am.”

Faith

This has been a difficult year in many ways. I didn’t write a Christmas letter to slip in with the cards that Nancy faithfully selects, writes personal notes in, and stays up all hours to hand address. Come to think about it, I didn’t write a Christmas letter last year either. Twelve months ago, it was a mixture of fatigue, laziness, and a lack of time that drained the creative juices and stopped the project.

This year was just too difficult. In one of the Christmas cards to a dear, but distant friend, I wrote that this had been a year of blessings with a heavy dose of tragedy and a sprinkling of comedy. After further thought, I realized that was a pretty good summary statement. And it’s a statement that works not only for us, but for so many others around us.

For whatever reason, I have been fixated on how different things are becoming for us. And, in so doing, I think I’ve lost the broader view of what life is. Life is something different every day. Death is day after day with no change.

I have to admit I’m weary of some of the different that’s coming our way. Yet, I remind myself of what I learned from my good friend, Preacher Eddie. He was telling the story of Jesus calming the storm with that powerful order — “Peace, be still!”

As Preacher Eddie preached on, he asked us to consider the point of that story. I have to admit that I centered on the power of God, the Creator, and the awesome might of His mere words. And, as Eddie reminded, that is part of the story.

What I missed was what happened next. Jesus turned to his disciples and basically said, “So, what were you worried about? Did you forget that I’m right here in the boat with you?”

So, even though I can’t bring myself to writing a Christmas letter this year, I want you to know that the whole story of Christmas is this:

Jesus is in the boat. Whatever the change that comes, whatever the tragedy, God is next to us. Spreading blessings, sprinkling comedy.

Isn’t life great? When the waves grow a little threatening and wind howls around us, Nancy and I just turn to each other and say, “Remember, Jesus is in the boat.”

Merry Christmas. . .

Change has come to America . . .

With those words, President-Elect Barack Obama challenged a nation.

He acknowledged that change wouldn’t happen in a day or a year or perhaps even within a single presidential term. Finally, the election is over. It is my hope that reasonable men and women will leave their extreme positions that are intended to create distance and “market recognition.” Now is the time to come together. I just pray that we will.

I don’t agree with all of the plans that the new president has made. I didn’t agree with all of the plans that Senator McCain had either. My comfort throughout the election has come simply from the knowledge that God is in control of everything and that, with this wondrous assurance, my post-election plan would simply be to encourage others to pursue peace.

Peace, of course, doesn’t happen in a vacuum devoid of conflict. Conflict is its constant companion. It flickers around the edges of even the most serene moments. Conflict flares from the fuel of the slightest disagreement.

Yet, it is true that we can pursue, enjoy, and embrace peace in the epicenter of conflict.

I’m not certain of what “change” has come to America. I think we would be better served by our calculated efforts to realize the potential of the hope that has always been here and in every nation history has known.

President-Elect Obama, in keeping with my post-election plan, I want to encourage you to pursue peace. Not at all costs and not with eyes shut to reality. But pursue peace responsibly and through understanding of not only the issues, but of the interests of all people. May God bless you.

Happy No Matter What

“So, what if the impending tests from the Large Hadron Collider prove my theories to be wrong?” asked theoretical physicist Garrett Lisi. “Then I will simply lean on the non-professional pieces of my life. The only way to be happy is to live a balanced life.”

Lisi’s statement is pretty monumental. Although I used quotes above, I didn’t capture his exact words. But I think I covered his thoughts. They came at the end of a 15 minute presentation of his theories of the existence of comprehensive “E8″ structure. With beautiful graphics and well-chosen words, he guided the scientifically-inadequate of us through a wonderful explanation of what he believes will appear when that big apparatus under the Swiss and France border accelerates minuscule particles into a head-on collision. The ten-story “camera” will record what happens. And in a fraction of a section, years of thought and mathematical calculations will be verified or trashed. Or, more likely, remain unproven and trigger years more of ponderance and supposition.

Yet Garrett Lisi says that his reaction even to the worst of results will be simply to go back to the two other things in his life that occupy his time — his girlfriend and surfing. And it’s not that he plans to abandon physics. It’s just that he sees the value of placing bits of his sanity in various baskets.

In recent months, I have experienced setbacks of sorts. Nothing cataclysmic, but certainly events that have shaken me. No one of these was enough to send me to my knees. But collectively, their burden took a toll. And suddenly I was looking in the mirror at someone who was clueless about what to do next. For a person like me, one who prides himself in being in control, it was a frightening sight.

So, for several days, I peered from a single basket and was tired and hopeless. “What else can go wrong?” I railed against the rafters. Anxiety increased. And just about the time I was ready to give in to full-time mourning, I looked around and saw some other baskets scattered around me.

It was when I began to peek in them, that I realized how blessed I was. As the covers came off, I saw the friendly faces of friends and family. In some, the neighborly waves of complete strangers gave me great pleasure.

I then saw that God is in control of my baskets. From time to time, some are upset and become empty. I’m left with the difficult task of picking up pieces and returning them to the basket. And sometimes, when a particular basket not only topples over but rolls away from me in a cosmic wind, I realize that’s not my basket to fill.

In fact, as I take a closer look at all of “my” baskets, I learn that I have filled none of them on my own. They’re not even “my” baskets!

Do you remember the story of Jesus feeding more than 5,000 people with a little boy’s borrowed lunch? Everyone was fed to satisfaction from five loaves and two fishes. That’s amazing. But the true miracle was that there were twelve baskets of leftovers collected that day.

I think it’s possible that all of my baskets are filled with God’s leftovers — and, yet, everything there is infinitely more wonderful than anything I could create or collect or borrow.

And so, I’m beginning to see that I can always be happy — no matter what. For, if one of my baskets is kicked over, God has filled others.

Opportunity

Sometimes, opportunity presents itself dramatically. It rears its majestic head and invites us to take hold. We relish the experience. We have no doubts and we move forward with confidence.

But most times, opportunity peeks out at us, wide-eyed and tentative, from just around the corner. And even when it steps out for a few seconds and signals its promise, it may suddenly duck down and run for cover.

And, when that happens, a lot of us shrug and think, “Well, that opportunity wasn’t meant to be.” We continue where we were. Perhaps just as well off, but never really knowing what the opportunity might have meant to our lives.

I’ve got an opportunity around the corner. I’ve exchanged a few greetings and it’s seemed pretty shy. Today, I’m walking around the corner to meet it.

I don’t think that we have the time to greet every opportunity that comes our way. Yet, I would hope that all of us would pause long enough to meet some and explore the possibilities.

Kate says

The weekly email from the American Bar Association popped up with news for the week. I usually find something of interest, but last week’s didn’t have much. I did see where a law firm had banned phones and other communication devices from firm meetings. Thought I’d take a look.

The story was short and to the point. A law firm had established rules regarding the use of cell phones and portable email devices in meetings. Seems that the lawyers had grown tired of having that type of interruption. That was it. The story was over. I thought there must be more, so I paged down below the advertisements.

I don’t suppose that I had done that before. But I discovered that there was a comment feature at the bottom of the page. I wasn’t really curious but for some unknown reason I started reading.

First comment commended the law firm. Second comment commended the law firm and went further, condemning anyone who talks on a cell phone in public. Third commenter told the second commenter to lighten up. That line of thought went back and forth for awhile.

And then someone noticed that the headline said “Firm Bans Blackberrys,” or something like that. So, of course, a heated debated arose over whether the plural of Blackberry is Blackberrys or Blackberries. Soon, commenters were blending the plurality issue with whether cell phones and emails by phone are from the devil — and possibly whether other commenters were demonic.

This is the tragedy of online news and blogs. In the cloak of anonymity, people act nasty to other people. Yes, it happens face to face, too. But people really think it’s okay and even admirable if they can make derogatory remarks about other people on the internet. It is true that some individuals are respectful and articulate. But many are not.

That’s why I was blessed by what Kate said, way down in the list of comments. Her words?

I have never taken the time to read comments responding to a posted article. Hilarious–thanks for the entertainment! I particularly love when one individual criticizes another, all the while making blatant typos, whether spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Another favorite: the witty remarks. Thanks for the laughs.

In her kind way, Kate assumed the best. That people were simply going out of their way to entertain her and other readers. And don’t you love the gentle way she pointed out that perhaps people should pay attention to what they type?

Seems to me that many of the earlier comments could have been made in Kate’s style. The same information would have been imparted. And we would have all been spared the nastiness. Who knows? Perhaps I’ve missed the point. Maybe online comments should only be viewed as entertainment.

Oh, and if you are wondering, the plural of Blackberry is “Blackberry Mobile Devices” according to one of the commentators who bothered to go and ask the company. Not much entertainment value in that, but the process is certainly refreshing.

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